Mindful Wardrobe Management for Clothing Lovers, Part 3
The first thing most minimalism guides say to do is “get rid of the things you don’t need.” I get it. It feels good to have less stuff. It feels like progress. If you give away (or throw away) half of your possessions, you can stand back and look at the empty space you’ve created in your closets and on your shelves, and congratulate yourself on a job well done. It’s magical. It’s liberating. It’s…temporary.
Yeah, I’ve been there, done that, and filled the space up again.
I’ve decided that having less needs to be a habit rather than a task. It’s not just decluttering I’m after anymore. It’s distilling.
“I’ve decided that having less needs to be a habit rather than a task.”
Here’s the difference. Decluttering is getting rid of excess and unnecessary items. Distilling is extracting the most essential and important aspects of something. It’s possible that the end result of each of these processes might be the same, but the mindset is different. Decluttering puts the focus on the objects being decluttered. Distilling hones in on the end result.
That’s why, when I started writing about wardrobe management, I talked about going through your closet and creating a basic wardrobe list, rather than about weeding out the pieces that don’t work. Actually, “weeding” is an interesting term here, because the only difference between a weed and a garden plant is whether or not you want it there. Have you every gardened with someone who has no clue which plants belong and which don’t? It makes you realize how arbitrary the distinction really can be.
So how do you distill your wardrobe?
Distilling is a way to determine what you most want to have in your wardrobe, and then letting go of everything that’s not that.
Start with your basic core. You’ve already defined that, right? If you haven’t, stop right here and do it now. Done? Okay, let’s go back to that gardening analogy. The items in your basic wardrobe are the parts of the garden that aren’t going anywhere. Think of whatever’s on that list as your gazebo and your hundred-year-old oak tree and your fish pond. You likely don’t want to get rid of those things, but you’d have to if the gazebo were rotting or the tree were diseased or you suddenly found yourself with a burning hatred of fish. If that’s the case, that is to say, if you have items in your basic wardrobe that don’t fit or are stained or damaged to the point of being unwearable (whatever that means to you, personally), then deal with that first. Do some repairs, go to the tailor, treat any stains, or, as a last resort, replace what’s not working.
Pull everything that’s not your basic wardrobe out of the closet, just like Marie Kondo says to do. Sticking with the garden analogy, these are the rest of your plants. Your collection could resemble an explosion of multi-colored flowers, or a subtle blend of foliage, or it could be an overgrown mess with just a hint that there might be a rose or two beneath the weeds. Give yourself a few minutes to take in the state of it. How does it make you feel? Good or bad, take a deep breath, and sit with that for a bit.
Find the keepers. The first time through, this might seem daunting, but you just have to dig deep and do it. I promise it won’t be as hard as it first seems, because you’re not making decisions about what to get rid of here, you’re just looking for the things you love. This is the heart of distilling. Remember: you already have your basic core. You can already get dressed each day, so this is all about finding the beauty and personality and fun. Put everything you really, truly adore back into the closet. Just like with your basic wardrobe, make sure all those pieces are in good shape and give them some TLC if they’re not. When you’re done, step back and look at what you’ve created. How do you feel now? Sit with that feeling too.
Look at what’s left and make the easy decisions. If you’re anything like me, the first time you do this exercise, you’ll end up with a lot of clothes still piled on your bed after step three. Don’t panic! Every June, the garden at my old house would erupt with four-foot tall thistles. They were huge and ugly and clearly didn’t belong in my patches of iris and mint. The only good thing about them was that they came out of the ground easily and were oddly satisfying to pull. Start by just going through your remaining pile and pulling those thistles. These should be no-brainer decisions. Sell them, donate them, recycle them as rags. Good riddance.
Put everything else in a bag. I mean it. A basket or a box would also be acceptable. Don’t return anything to your drawers or hangers. This is all your “maybe pile,” your “I’m not ready” bag, your holding zone. Put the bag (or box) in your closet if there’s room. Otherwise, keep it somewhere accessible. Nothing in this pile was vital enough to make it into your basic wardrobe, and nothing in it passed the test for absolute love, but, for whatever reason, you weren’t ready to let any of it go. That’s okay. Distilling takes time. For now, you can pull things out of this bag whenever you’d like. Maybe you’ll discover certain pieces are more necessary or more beloved than you originally thought. Maybe others will grow into thistles while you’re not looking at them. Maybe you’ll come back in six months and find you still don’t know. All those results are perfectly fine. Corralling all of the “maybes” together will allow you to practice living with less, while serving as a reminder that you still have plenty.
Repeat this exercise. Not immediately, but make time for it every three or six months, and make sure you pull everything out of the holding zone every time you reassess. The first time through is the hardest. After that, your “maybe pile” will start to shrink, you’ll already be familiar with what’s working in your basic wardrobe, and you’ll have a much better sense of what you need and love.
Good luck, and let me know in the comments or on social media how you get on!
In the last part of this series, I’ll be writing about adding to your mindful wardrobe. If you missed the previous installments, you can still go back and read Part 1 and Part 2.
Want to learn more? My wardrobe distilling process was heavily influenced by three sources: Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Jessica Rose Williams’ How to Build a Year Round Capsule Wardrobe, and Angie Cox’s blog, You Look Fab. 